Ebola Patient at Emory University Denied Inpatient Status By Insurance.

Atlanta, GA - UnitedHealthCares (UHC) of Dekalb County has informed hospital officials at Emory University  that Ebola patient Dr. Kent Brantley does not meet inpatient criteria.  UHC's commission based claims reviewer, Sven Tweeny, CNA, has  recommended 24 hours of observation care instead. "If we paid inpatient for every viral syndrome, we'd run out of money before New Year's Eve."

Attending physician Dr. Frank Johnstick  was informed of the decision during a  physician-to-CNA courtesy briefing.   "That doesn't surprise me. We've been battling Dekalb United CNAs for years."

Ebola virus causes Ebola hemorrhagic fever, an often fatal disease. Despite the high risk of complications associated with this deadly infection, there are no treatment options available.

Say's Dr. Johnstick, "His creatinine jumped from one to six overnight, but he's still making urine so they ain't budging on obs[ervation].  And his hemoglobin dropped seven grams in less than 24 hours.  You'd think that would get him inpatient, right?  Nope.  It just gave me mangina."

Utilization review expert Fran Lotran agreed with UnitedHealthCares' decision.  "That patient traveled thousands of miles to be isolated and observed.  If those people want inpatient, they're going to have to cut something off above the wrist or knee, create a life threatening medical error or order every four hour neuro checks and blood cultures."

Shortly after the decision to deny inpatient status, Dr. Brantley's wife was seen frantically booking an airline flight back home to pick up her husband's prescription strength Allegra and Prilosec.  Hospital officials informed Dr. and Mrs. Brantley that a one week supply of home medications not covered by UHC and provided by the hospital under observation status would cost $12,000.

Shortly after this discussion, Dr.Brantley was diagnosed with a heart attack and approved for another 24 hours of observation by UnitedHealthCares of Dekalb County.

"One does not simply observe Ebola."

One does not simply observe Ebola humor meme

(This news is fake and is meant for entertainment purposes only.  In case you couldn't tell.)
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